Eulogy for my old self

This speech is dedicated to the person I once knew way back in our high school. I knew her to the extent that I know her deepest secrets. I just know everything about her. She was once a friendly, bubbly, and every time you look at her she is smiling.

I remember when we were in first year high school, she was bullied. She was attacked by her friends, or if they really are friends. They said a lot of mean things about her, but who’s to blame? Even she admitted that it was all her fault. The friendly girl who was adored by most of her classmates turned out to be a monster. She brags every talent she has, she acted like a total bitch, she became bossy, and she became so full of herself, maybe because of the attention she received? But whatever reason was that, she’s still a princess turned out to be a witch.

She used to have a lot of friends, but they all turned their backs on her. The girl with a lot of company now eats in the cafeteria alone. Only our teachers were her friends, well not totally friends, because only they don’t know what was happening inside our classroom when they’re gone. Only her teachers appreciate her. She studied so hard just to be able to go out from that section. She hoped that if she got high grades, she will be promoted into the pilot sections and be surrounded with mature persons.

In our second year high school, she was so happy to be a part of the pilot section of our school. But she was wrong; some of her classmates were influenced by her former classmates. They warned her new classmates about her. Some of her classmates were cautious from then on, some of her classmates didn’t take it seriously, and some just don’t care. She made true friends by changing. Yes it’s too cliché to say that it is good to change if it is for the better, but it really is. She changed for the better and the misconceptions of her second year high school classmates vanished. She earned again her respect and reputation. She gained a lot of girl friends that until now my girl friends.

I changed. I tried to change the situation but I cannot. So I stayed away from my classmates, I let them say a lot of mean things about me, I let them criticize my every actions, I let them judge me. I became so quiet, the talkative girl who talks a lot of things now became so quiet that no one can deliberate what I am thinking. I endured everything they did to me; they treated me like I got a contagious sickness.  From that time I realized that I don’t need fake friends, I don’t need to listen to them, after all I came to school to critic not to be criticized. I finished first year high school with a big smile. During second year high school, I hoped before entering the room of my new section that everything will change. But I am still wrong. Really I cannot change the situation, false news is spreading so fast, close minded people are multiplying, I can’t fight. I can’t fight by myself; so I created an alliance with myself. Anyway no one can help me but myself. I changed, I literally changed. I cut my hair, I wore glasses, and after that I changed my attitude. I tried to come nearby my classmates, I talked to them, I played with them, I rode with their jokes, I became with them.

Now I am here in front of you, it is kind of awkward if I will enumerate my good traits, if I have any. I just want to tell you guys that maybe there is a little good thing about bullying. Bullying if taken seriously in a good way can teach things only the experience can teach. I myself can tell you that I am a good product of bullying. I didn’t become an introvert, I at least have friends, I am not afraid of people either. But don’t get me wrong I am not implying that we should bully some of our classmates here just to change.

This eulogy is for my former self, for the high school Corynne, for the bullied Corynne, and for the monster Corynne. My eulogy just wants to say that there is always a space for a change. If you cannot change your situation, change your attitude. Thank you my old good Corynne.